


Try for the Kingdom if I Can

by MooseFeels



Category: Supernatural
Genre: Body Image, Depression, Emotional Baggage, M/M, hurt!Dean Winchester, whump!
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2013-01-29
Updated: 2013-01-29
Packaged: 2017-11-27 09:51:52
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 264
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/660592
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/MooseFeels/pseuds/MooseFeels
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>Sometimes, Dean is low.</p>
            </blockquote>





	Try for the Kingdom if I Can

Sometimes, he imagines it’s an actual weapon. It’s something deep inside of him, and he can pull it out any time he wants and take it and hurt other people. It’s something that can’t just hurt him.

It’s something that started when he was a teenager. He’d always been wrong. Always been dumb, not like Sammy, and then when his body grew all wrong, not strong like Dad. The way his torso sat low and dense on top of his bent legs. The ugly pudge, threatening to roll over the waist of his pants. The mottled color of his skin. The muddy color of his eyes. The flabby flaccid bulge of his lips.

The way he drank too much, the way he ate too much, the way he was clingy and needy and greedy and childish.

God he was so fucked up.

It was like the thing that lived inside of him was a pair of scissors in his chest, and every time he let something in, something good or something that made him not such a _goddamn_ fuck up, they tore that apart.

When he was brought particularly low, some nights, he would buy scissors and hold them so tight in his hands that he would bleed around them.

And the Angel of the Lord would come to him and take them from his shaking, cut hands. Take them and disappear them to the place far, far away.

Wrap his hands around his neck and whisper into his cheek with a low and cracking voice,  “Beautiful.”

And Dean knew that he was wrong.


End file.
